


It's About Love

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, M/M, Series: Its About Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 04:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair get together with the help of the panther.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's About Love

## It's About Love

by Claudel

Notes: I can't believe I'm doing this. I have been a lurker for almost a year, I hate to speak in front of a lot of people, even in the virtual world, and now I'm posting a story. I must be crazy. Anyway, this is my first story, and English is not my native language, so please be gentle. I am _very_ nervous, and I would really appreciate to receive feedback. You will find me under my bed, with my teddy bear and my cats. :-) Many, many thanks to my wonderful betareader, Pumpkin, who accomplished a miracle when she managed to convince me I could write in English. :-) Of course, all remaining mistakes are mine. 

Disclaimer: The characters of Blair, Jim and the panther, beautiful creature that it is are the properties of Pet Fly Productions and this story is not meant as an infringement of the rights. It is, instead, meant to correct the oversight which the writers of the show have erringly made. :-) 

Warnings: None, only a few spoilers for Sleeping Beauty and Warriors. 

* * *

Jim was staring at Blair with a definite look of amusement on his face. It was the end of the day and they had just come back from work. Jim had to pick up Blair at the university, since the antiquity that he called a car was still at the garage. It had stubbornly refused to start this morning, which wasn't much of a surprise to Jim. It was a wonder that it was working most of the time. 

The young man was looking completely exhausted. As soon as the door had closed, he had crashed on the sofa, his backpack landing beside him with a plop. Now, his head was tilted back, his eyes were closed, and he didn't seem to have enough energy left to go to his room, much less cook supper. 

"Well, Chief, it looks like I'll have to cook tonight." declared Ellison, barely holding back his laughter. 

"I don't see what's so funny, man" answered Blair, without bothering to open his eyes. He could tell that Jim was looking at him, and he knew the other man so well that he didn't need to see his face to guess his mood. 

"It's simply that you're always such a bundle of energy and enthusiasm, it's strange to see you sitting at the same spot for more than five minutes" answered Jim, who, meanwhile, was trying to find something on the table. 

"The phone number for pizza is on the fridge, Jim" 

Ellison turned sharply around, but the other man was still sitting there, with his eyes closed. 

"How did you... " 

"Eh, I'm a guide, I know everything about you. All your thoughts, all your feelings...." 

"Yeah, right. " Jim snorted. "If you could really read my mind, you'd be running as fast as you can. " 

"What?" The detective pretended to have not noticed the startled exclamation from his friend, and went to dial the number. He didn't know why he had let that last sentence slip out, but he had no intention of enlightening Blair about its meaning. When he hung up the phone, he asked over his shoulder: "Why are so tired anyway, Sandburg ?" No psycho decided to kidnap you this week. " 

"And nobody hit you on the head, either, so I suppose I'm lucky. No, man, it's midterms. It's killing me. I have all these papers to grade, my thesis to work on, my job at the station, and I have to deal with a stubborn sentinel who refuses to take a few, easy tests." 

Jim arched an eyebrow and went to sit on the opposite side of the couch, looking at Blair with a somewhat worried expression. "So, what's new, Chief ?" he asked softly, choosing to ignore the comments about his so called stubbornness. "You're always very busy,juggling your two jobs. But you look completely down tonight." 

Blair's eyes suddenly opened, and he straightened up. "Whoa, Big Guy, I'm the one who minored in psychology here. Don't begin to study my psyche, cause it's a task that it's way beyond you." 

Jim suddenly shook his head and reached out to grasp his friend's arm. "Blair, I'm serious here. The whole week, you sound almost...." 

"What ?" asked Blair with irritation in his voice. 

"I don't know... depressed... Even Simon asked me what was up with you. " 

"Geez, if Simon is worried about me, it must be bad," Blair answered sharply. 

"Chief....." Ellison simply left his hand lingering on the other man's arm, and looked at him with concerned eyes. His expression was extremely soft. His guide tiredly rubbed his eyes with his free hand, and sighed. 

Jim was getting concerned about him in his awkward way, it was almost sweet. He couldn't remember ever having heard the detective admit that he was important to him. But he didn't need to say it, Blair thought with some fondness. His actions spoke for him, and Blair wasn't expecting a big declaration of friendship from Jim, anyway. He had been living in the loft for almost three years now and he still wasn't paying rent. If Jim had wanted him out of there, he'd have told him, and the fact that he had apparently forgotten that the anthropologist was supposed to crash at his place for only one week was proof enough that he wanted his guide around. In a strange way, it made him feel cherished. 

But this didn't mean that it was a good idea to tell him the truth, either, and he opened his month to say the first lie, correction, obfuscation that came to mind, but nothing came out. 

The warmth from their contact was spreading throughout his body, and he took a shuddering breath. He fervently prayed to every deity that could be listening that the Sentinel wasn't monitoring his heartbeat, because it was beginning to race. But when he raised his head, his too expressive face betrayed his sadness and confusion. 

Jim gasped, completely taken aback by what he could read in his guide's eyes, but then the young man broke the contact, and tried to take refuge in his bedroom. Jim stood at the same time. 

"Blair...please talk to me." 

"No, Jim, I'm tired and I need some sleep, that's all. Don't make a big deal out of it." 

Before the sentinel could stop him, the doorbell rang and he had to go pay for the pizza. When he came back into the living room, with the warm box in his hands, the french doors were closed, and he came to the conclusion that he would have to eat alone tonight. But something was definitively up with his guide, and he was going to find out what it was. 

"I'm not the only one here who's supposed to talk about his feelings. It goes both ways." grumbled Jim to the empty room. 

* * *

The following morning, Blair was staring at Jim chewing of his toast at the opposite side of the table, when he came to the unavoidable conclusion that he was in big trouble. It was impossible for him to continue to deny it, no matter how hard he tried. He had absolutely no clue about what he was supposed to do. 

Usually, he simply followed his instincts, particularly when it was about figuring out another weird twist of Jim's sentinel senses. But this time, he had the feeling that it would not be a very good idea. He wondered if he could actually live long enough to throw Jim Ellison on the ground, rip his clothes off and kiss him senseless. Probably not, he thought with derision. It would give him too much time to break my neck. 

He simply couldn't believe that this was happening to him. He could have slapped himself, but he didn't want to attract the attention of his roommate, who was peacefully reading the newspaper. Thankfully, the big man had apparently decided to leave him alone, throwing him the occasional concerned glance. As long as you continue to act normally, everything is going to be alright, thought Blair. Maybe it will even go away. After all, things are not _that_ bad. It could be worse. But, somehow, he couldn't bring himself to believe it. 

Blair, ever the scientist, could pinpoint the exact moment his problems had started. It was a month ago, at the police station. Jim and he had been waiting for the elevator, explaining some details about a case to him. As usual, Jim had been standing very close to him, his face a few inches away from Blair's, and had touched his shoulder to emphasize a point. He had done the same thing countless times, for as long as Blair had known him, and he had never reacted to these casual contacts before. Apparently, touching someone was Jim's way to communicate, and he wasn't going to complain. 

It was at this moment that the young man suddenly imagined himself closing the distance between them, in order to kiss Jim Ellison. He could vividly picture how it would feel to actually do it, to slip his tongue between these very firm lips, to taste him.... When the elevator had finally arrived, it was an extremely shocked Blair who had stepped in. After that, he had not been able to look his partner in the eyes, but, thankfully, the older man hadn't noticed anything unusual. 

If that had been it, Blair would easily have rationalized it by pretending it was simply his mind on overload or something. But it had happened again and again, and he was beginning to feel extremely confused. He had always considered himself as open minded, and had never judged people who happened to have other sexual orientations. Now that he was personally concerned, it wasn't that easy. He had always, but always, been attracted to women. He couldn't remember ever having looked at a man with a trace of interest, even when he was a teenager. If he was bisexual or something, he would have realized it before he had turned 28, right ? The following month had been extremely hard for the anthropologist. He had caught himself several times wishing that he could actually kiss Jim , and his fantasies were becoming even more explicit. In fact, he was almost blushing everytime he caught himself thinking very unholy thoughts about his roommate. 

And this morning, Jim was looking good enough to eat. He was wearing very tight jeans and a white t-shirt and god, this man could really fill his clothes. Blair quickly finished eating and prepared himself to go to the university as fast as he could, before he did something really stupid. He doubted very much that the sentinel would buy an explanation like pheremones if he was to jump Jim's bones. 

When the door closed, Jim let the newspaper fall on the table, wondering what he was supposed to do. It was obvious that Blair wasn't going to talk about whatever was bothering him, and he didn't know if pushing him would do any good. He sighed and went to fetch his car keys, only then noticing that the kid had not even asked for a ride to the university. It was odd, to say the least. 

* * *

The following evening found Blair sitting cross-legged on the floor, vainly trying to meditate, because he couldn't ignore the sound of the water in the shower. And the association of Jim and a shower was summoning all too arousing images in his head. For god's sake, it had to stop! Jim was straight, and by the way, he was supposed to be straight, too. 

He suddenly stood up, too full of nervous energy, and started pacing around the room. I'm lusting about my best friend, a _man_ who also happens to be a cop and ex-military, he thought to himself. If it was happening to someone else, I'd be rolling on the floor, laughing my head off. You really got to love clichés. And Naomi is going to kill me. In spite of himself, he couldn't help but start to chuckle. For a split second, he even seriously considered talking to his mother about this. 

At that moment, the door to the bathroom opened and Jim walked out with only a towel around his waist. Blair had to remind himself to continue to breathe, and not to start drooling. "What was so funny?" threw Jim over his shoulder, on his way to the stairs. "Nothing, man, nothing. Just my overactive imagination. You don't want to know" 

"You're right, Sandburg, I don't want to know." answered Jim, with an amused tone. 

Blair suddenly realized that he was standing there, staring longingly at his best friend's back, and decided to retreat in his bedroom. As usual, he had a thousand things to do. But he simply eyed his laptop for two seconds and decided that he wasn't in any mood to work. His thoughts were dancing through his head, and he knew that the only way hed'be able to sleep tonight was to find something that would really bore him. He considered the utter chaos that was his room and smiled to himself. Just trying to put some order in there would be enough of a challenge, and Jim would at least leave him alone with his house rules. Sometimes, the guy was even worse than his mother. 

Blair was kneeling before a pile of various papers that had accumulated in the farthest corner of his room, when he noticed a small, pink paper. His heart almost stopped in his chest, and for a few endless seconds, he remained frozen in the same position. Then, he slowly picked up the paper, and traced the shape of the heart with the tip of his finger. He knew the words 'I love Jim' were written inside it. It was Stacey who had made this little card, and somehow, this paper had ended up among his stuff. After he had showed it to Jim to convince him that he was the one who should try to comfort the woman child, he had kept it, though for the life of him he couldn't remember why. "Oh, god," he whispered. At this instant, he had the distinct feeling that a giant hand had closed over his heart and was squeezing it. Lightning had stricken him, and he suddenly understood everything with crystal clarity. "I love him. I'm in love with him." He blinked to stop the tears that threatened to break free, and at the same time, he could feel the radiant smile tugging at his lips. He sat heavily on the floor, still clutching the card in his hand. It was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him. It was the most frightening thing that had ever happened to him. What the Hell was he going to do about that? He could live with the fact that he was lusting after Jim Ellison, but being in love with the man was a completely different thing. Blair knew he didn't have a great track record with his love life, but this was really the cherry on the sundae. Now, he was going to screw up the best friendship that he ever had in his whole life. And he was discovering that his feelings, this time, were running much deeper than with anyone else before. Even with Maya, he had never felt something comparable. It was a wonder he had managed to fool himself for so long, apparently he was very good at denial. He fought his sudden desire to go upstairs, jump in Jim's arms and declare to him his undying adoration. He didn't think the sentinel would really kill him if he was to find out, but he would certainly not take this very well. In fact, he simply could not picture what Jim's reaction would be. It was impossible to tell him. He simply couldn't do it. But he couldn't continue pretending everything was fine either. Blair didn't think he would find the strength to continue to behave normally. But it was a moot point, wasn't it? He was already behaving strangely, and many of his friends had noticed, including Jim. The way he had disappeared on him at supper had not been his brightest move. Blair closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and came to a decision. He stood up, squared his shoulders, and went to climb the stairs leading to Jim's bedroom. 

The sentinel was lying on the bed, with a book in his hands, the small lamp the only source of light in the room. He looked up from his book with a start. He had not been paying attention to the young man's activity, and was surprised to see him appear in his room, particularly when Blair had already made clear that he didn't want to talk to him. Maybe he's going to tell me what's wrong with him, thought Jim with a trace of hope. He straightened up, sat on the bed and put the book on the bedside table, in order to show his roommate he had his complete and undivided attention. 

"Yeah, Chief, go ahead." Blair simply stood there fidgeting with his shirt, seeming uncertain. He looked completely adorable to Jim in the semi darkness of the room, with his hair falling freely on his shoulders, his blue eyes shimmering, even in the darkness. But his next words completely shattered his good mood. "Jim, I just wanted to tell you that I'm seriously considering moving out. It's about time I find my own place to live." 

Jim was completely shocked. He was suddenly very glad that his friend couldn't see his face very well, because he was certainly the picture of pure amazement. He remained speechless. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he could easily identify the feeling that was making his heart beat much faster than it should: it was panic. Deep boned panic at the idea of Blair leaving him. "Wait a minute, here James, he firmly admonished himself. You're a grown man, a cop, you've been in the army for a good part of your adult life, you are NOT going to have an anxiety attack because Blair is suddenly extremely eager to get out of your loft. No way." When Jim finally found his voice, he could only ask: "But, why? Blair, will you tell me what's wrong with you? I thought I was your friend, dammit! " Blair winced at that last comment, and his resolution almost crumbled. Almost. Blair slowly backed down the stairs, shaking his head. "Look, man, there's nothing you can do about that. Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine. I'll continue to work with you at the station, and help you with your senses. But I can't stay here anymore, that's all. Please, Jim, if you're really my friend, don't ask me more." Blair's voice almost broke on the last sentence, and he quickly turned around and left. For the second time this week, he was literally running away from his best friend. Jim briefly considered going after the kid, but decided against it. Blair had often teased him about his so-called stoic attitude and his repugnance to talk about his feelings. But when his guide really tried, he was even better than Jim at this little game. So much better, in fact, that the sentinel didn't have the slightest hope in making him open up if he didn't want to. 

However, Jim had not intention to let his guide leave without at least several good reasons. The prospect of living alone, without someone to mess up the loft, make up annoying tests, cook strange mixtures and chat non stop for endless hours was simply unbearable. And this particular someone was Blair Sandburg, and no one else. If he had to chain him to his bed to prove his point, then so be it. If Blair thought he could leave without a fight, he was in for a major surprise. 

Once, he had almost made the mistake to let his guide leave for this expedition to Borneo, without trying to convince him to stay. At that time, he had felt he simply had no right to interfere with the young man's career. And he didn't have the courage to simply tell Blair that he wanted him to stay because he would miss his friendship. It was the anthropologist who had found the guts to admit this to him, not Jim. Well, this time, it was his turn to make a confession of his own. 

There was a time, not so long ago, when Jim Ellison would have happily chosen to be skinned alive than to admit he was dependant of another human being. Because he had been on his own for so long, it wasn't easy for him to open up and trust another person. After a while, he After a while, he had not even known that something was missing in his life, and that he was in fact terribly lonely. It had taken the sudden irruption of Blair Sandburg in his existence to make him realize it. 

Jim remained lying in the dark for a long moment, staring at the ceiling, and listening to the familiar heartbeat downstairs. His need to physically stop his guide from leaving battled his instinct that was telling him to keep it quiet, to avoid being hurt even more. When he finally fell asleep, a frown of worry was still on his face. 

* * *

Blair tossed around in his bed for three long hours before he finally fell asleep. However, he was not meant to find peace this night, because he suddenly woke up at an indeterminate hour, not really sure about what had disturbed him. It felt like something with a considerable weight had just landed on his bed. The small part of his brain that was not currently sleeping speculated about the probability of earthquakes in Cascade, or other various natural cataclysms. 

But when he opened his eyes, the sight that welcomed him completely astonished him. A big shadow was hovering over him, and to his horror, he had to admit that this could only be described as a black panther. A very imposing animal, with golden eyes shining in the darkness of the room, so close to him that Blair could feel his breath on his face. 

He remained frozen and stared at the animal, furiously trying to figure out what the hell was going on. If this was a dream, it was the most realistic of his life. If this wasn't a dream, well, it was time for him to go consult a comprehensive doctor who could prescribe him some pills for his head. 

Then, the panther moved gracefully, firmly taking Blair's shirt in his mouth and roughly pulling the young man out of his bed. Blair let out a startled yelp when his knees came in sudden contact with the hard floor, and had no choice but follow the damn animal. He stumbled behind the panther, who had apparently decided to get him out of his bedroom and into the living room. The big cat had a firm grip on the collar of his shirt, and he was much too close to his neck for Blair's comfort. Apparently, this thing wasn't a hallucination. 

Then, the panther forced him to climb the stairs leading to Jim's bedroom, leaving him in an awkward position, since he had to walk on his elbows and knees to remain at the animal's level. Blair followed in a daze, still only half awake. 

Wait a minute, here, he suddenly thought. Do you believe there are many black panthers wandering around in Cascade? Particularly when said panther is acting very strangely? 

It was only at this moment that it occurred to him he knew a man who had a close association with a black panther. "Jim!" "You better tell this thing to let go of me right now, I don't think this is funny!" Blair could hear the hysteria in his voice, but didn't care one bit, since he knew there were extremely good reason to panic. 

Upstairs, the sentinel suddenly woke and jumped out of the bed a split second later, instantly alert. His guide had sounded extremely distressed, and his heartbeat was racing. But he didn't go any farther than the top of the stairs, stopping in his tracks, not quite believing his eyes. "God, I must be dreaming," he thought, in an unconscious echo of his guide. Blair was half sprawled on the lower stairs, unsuccessfully trying to resist the pull of a very big panther. 

Jim blinked several times, wondering if it wasn't another very realistic vision, but then Blair raised his head and looked at him with pleading blue eyes. Jim raised his gun, only then realizing that he was holding it, and aimed at the animal. The panther didn't seem to appreciate it at all, and growled, showing his teeth. "Jim, no don't shoot," Blair frantically told him. 

"Why not?" asked Jim, confused, but still firmly holding the gun. Blair's answer was cut by the sudden move of the panther, who efficiently dragged him up the remaining stairs, and let him land on his butt at Jim's feet. The younger man quickly moved as far as he could from the animal, using Jim as a shield. 

"It's your spirit guide, man," Blair finally answered, brain had finally working properly. "You aren't seriously thinking of killing him, are you? I doubt he would let you, anyway. " 

Jim looked at the panther, who stared back at him. He was stunned by the recent turn of events, and slowly retreated until he was standing besides his guide. "And do you have any idea what the Hell he thinks he's doing?" Jim whispered. 

"You tell me, man, it's _your_ cat," answered Blair with an exasperated tone. 

"Well, you're the one who knows about this mystical stuff, not me," the other man snapped back. 

Blair looked much calmer now, and for some obscure reason, it annoyed Jim. The young man didn't answer, his brows furrowed in concentration, his mind racing, trying to find an explanation. The panther suddenly tired of staring back at the detective and yawned. Then he simply laid down in front of the stairs, effectively blocking the way, and started licking his paws. 

"This is the panther that you saw in the jungle, isn't it? The same one?" Blair suddenly asked. "How come it decided to appear in the loft? " 

"Well, it's not the first time that it has, Chief," answered Jim, too busy staring at the animal to really pay attention to what his friend was saying. 

"What? Man, why you didn't tell me, again? " 

"It's nothing, really, Sandburg," answered the sentinel with an heavy sigh. "Do you remember when we were drinking beer on the balcony, after we came back from Peru? " At Blair's nod, he continued: "Well, I saw him upstairs, for a few seconds. And when the Chopec decided to show up in Cascade, I saw him a couple of times too. In fact, he disappeared almost at the same moment as the Chopec." 

Blair seemed momentarily annoyed, but he was too hyped up over the recent events and wasn't in the mood to have an argument with his roommate. "Jim, this is great! You were the only one who could see the panther, and now I can see it too. I wonder what this means?" That you're getting as nut as I am, thought the detective, but didn't bother saying it aloud. 

"What I really want to know, Blair, is why this panther suddenly decided that it was a good idea to appear and drag you in my bedroom," he asked with feigned patience. Jim suddenly thought of a reason he would like very much to see this happen, and he almost groaned aloud. No wasn't the time to think this way about his very straight partner, and he had another problem to deal with right now. All he wanted was to see his so called spirit guide disappears, and as soon as possible. 

Then, the younger man did something that completely astonished him. Blair slowly walked toward the animal, kneeled on the floor before him, and scratched him behind the ears. The panther started to purr with an obvious look of satisfaction. Ellison sat down heavily on his bed, closed his eyes and let his face fall into his hands. It had not been a good day, and it was getting worse at every second. 

He jumped when he felt a very warm hand settling on his shoulder, and opened his eyes to see his guide standing before him, with a very decided expression. The panther was gone, like it had never existed. It should have been a relief, but Jim suddenly felt extremely worried about what Blair was going to say. 

"Jim, we are going to try a little game," declared Blair, in a tone of voice that aroused the worse suspicions in the detective mind. Blair unceremoniously sat down on the bed and faced his roommate, his eyes dancing with laughter and mischief. He was suddenly very glad that the other man couldn't see his expression in the semi-darkness of the room, but then his Blair turned on the lamp on the bedside table, took one look at Jim, and started to laugh. 

"Relax, man, I promise I won't hurt you" Blair managed to say, grinning like a madman. 

"That's not exactly what I was worrying about," mumbled Jim, who was doing his best to adopt his stone-face expression, but with little success. 

Blair settled comfortably on the bed, still giggling. 

"I'm sure you've heard of little games like twenty questions, or truth or dare?" 

"What? Sandburg, what the Hell are you talking about? And did you happen to notice how late it is? I would really appreciate if I could get back to sleep." 

Blair appeared unaffected by the little explosion of temper, and smiled with fondness to his friend. "Jim, if I was you, I would not do that. Because I have the feeling our friend the panther wants us to have a little chat. It came after me because I was the one who refused to open up, but I'm sure it's able to drag _you_ to _my_ room just as easily. And that would be quite a sight, I might add" 

Jim sighed and rubbed his eyes, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was beating faster at the sight of his best friend sitting in his bed, with minimum clothing, and smiling so brightly at him. He sighed again, but this time it was in defeat. 

"Oh, well, have it your way, Sandburg. If you absolutely want to have surrealistic conversations in the middle of the night, who am I to stop you? " 

"Great man," answered Blair, rubbing his hands together with a wicked grin. "Well, as I was saying, I want us to play a variation of these games. I'm going to ask you a question, and if you give an honest answer, you have the right to ask me whatever question you want, too. Of course, I also have to be honest, or it would not be fair." 

"Sure, and if I lie, what are you going to do?" asked Jim, with sarcasm in his voice. 

This time, Blair was deadly serious when he answered. "Nothing, man. We get on with our lives, as usual. With the slight difference that I won't be living here anymore, that's all. Your choice, Jim." At this last comment, Ellison gulped almost audibly. The latest events had been enough to distract him from his earlier conversation with his friend, but now that Blair had brought back the subject, his fears were coming back at full force. And the stupid game that Blair had just proposed suddenly seemed much more interesting. He was probably out of his mind, but he knew he was going to agree to this even before he opened his mouth to speak. 

"I can ask you anything, and you're going to answer? he asked cautiously. At Blair nod, he added: "Well, what is it that you want to know?" 

"Why were so upset about me leaving that you had to send your spirit guide after me?" 

Jim looked at Blair with a puzzled expression that was almost comical, while he tried to figure out what Blair meant exactly. He had expected something very weird, but he had not expected this at all. 

"I sent him? Sandburg, for god's sake, I never ask him to come. He appears only when he wants to, and it usually causes me lot of troubles!" he answered, with growing irritation in his voice. Jim knew that this wasn't exactly the truth, but he didn't feel like starting a discussion with his guide about how exactly his senses had returned at both occasions. He was a rational man, he felt more comfortable pretending these visions had only been a trick of his mind. Still, hallucinations were not supposed to be able to drag your best friend to your bedroom either. 

Blair firmly shook his head. "I'm not saying that you did it consciously, man, but it's really because of you he came this time. You called for him, it's what he told me." 

"Told you?" asked Jim, with the tone of someone who couldn't believe his ears. 

This time, his guide had the grace to look uncomfortable. "Well, kinda... He didn't exactly _tell_ me, I don't know how..... when I touched him... I knew it." 

Jim shifted in the bed. Great, and I'm the guy who's not supposed to believe in supernatural stuff, he thought with some irony, and Blair suddenly decides it's the perfect time to play the part of a shaman. What's even more incredible, I don't have any doubts that what he's telling me is the truth. 

"Jim!" Blair insisted. "I'm still waiting for an answer." 

"You want to know why I was so upset about you leaving," Jim began slowly, and then he paused because he wasn't sure how much he was willing to tell him. He looked at Blair, who was still sitting there, patiently waiting for him to speak. Then, the young man looked him right in the eyes, and the sentinel felt a sudden peace invade him. A certainty. Not matter what I tell him, he will accept it, he thought with a deep feeling of wonder. I don't think I ever had such a ... a connection, with anyone in my life. He didn't allow himself to say the word love, even in the privacy of his own thoughts. 

Jim licked his suddenly dry lips, crossed his hands in his lap, and stared at them, breaking the eye contact. "I don't think I could stand it if you were to leave me alone here, Chief," he softly confessed. It was the truth, even if it was only a partial truth. 

Blair's eyes became impossibly wide, and he stared at the other man with a completely astonished look, and then a wide grin broke on his face. Jim almost blushed, much to his friend's delight, and seemed about to hastily add something, to take back his words. But, Blair cut him off : "Don't you dare deny what you just said, James Ellison." 

"But..." 

"No, don't!" 

Jim raised his head, still extremely embarrassed, and felt a whole lot better when he saw the simple understanding in his friend's eyes, and something that seemed very close to happiness. 

"I know how hard it was for you to tell me this, Jim. I never thought I would hear you say something like that" Blair said softly. 

Jim shifted uneasily in the bed, and crossed his arms against his chest, trying to regain his composure. "Will you stay, then?" he asked hesitantly, hating the almost pleading tone of his voice. 

It was Blair's turn to suddenly look extremely embarrassed, as this question had reminded him of some disagreeable facts. 

"I don't know, man, it's a little more complicate than that. " 

"Why?" 

"Jim, please, don't ask me this, you really don't want to know, believe me." Blair stood up and started nervously pacing around the room. Jim went to stand directly in front of him, and stopped him with both his hands on his shoulders. 

"I believe we had an agreement, here, Sandburg," Jim reminded him. "This is my question, and I want an answer. Come on, buddy, it can't be that bad. " 

Blair mutely shook his head, and tried to get away, but Jim insisted: "I'm your friend, you know you can tell me anything." 

The anthropologist was almost shaking under his hands, and his heart was beating so fast that Jim could clearly see the pulse at his throat. He took a very deep breath, and then another. Even in his panicked state, Blair couldn't help but notice the irony of the situation: he had managed to trap himself at his own game. When he finally spoke, it was so low that only a sentinel could have heard him, and the words sounded very familiar: "I was wrong. It's not about friendship anymore. It's also about love. I just didn't get it before." 

Jim's hand tightened almost painfully on the other man's shoulder, and he vainly tried to meet his eyes, but Blair was doing his best to look everywhere but at him. This was simply too good to be true, and Jim felt a sudden weight on his chest. He cleared his voice several time before he could speak. 

"What do you mean, it's about love?" he questioned, not daring to hope. Not yet. 

"I think it's very clear, do I have to spell it to you?" answered the younger man, with an edge of hysteria in his voice. "I'm in love with you, I don't know how it happened, but it's the truth. I can't stay here anymore, it hurts too much, and I'm too damn confused. And now you're going to kick me out anyway." 

"Blair, I'm not going to kick you out." 

This, at least, attracted Blair's attention, and he finally looked up at his friend. "You're not?" 

The moonlight was falling on Jim, giving to his blue eyes an almost luminescent quality, and the intensity that Blair could read in them almost stopped his heart. He shivered, noticing the comforting warmth on his shoulders, and the reassurance that Jim's presence was giving him. Something passed silently between them, a message that was beyond any words, and at this moment, they both had a brief flash of each other's thoughts. It was gone before they could fully realize what had happened, leaving them with the feeling of having found something extremely precious. 

Blair's knees suddenly gave way under him, and the sentinel caught him before he could fall. To his amazement, he was swept off his feet, and Jim carried him in the short distance to the bed, never letting go of him, and simply laid down beside him. Blair instinctively spooned against him, hiding his face against the massive chest, and asked with some confusion: "Jim?" 

"Shhhhh.... It's alright, Blair, it's alright. " 

"But..." 

"I love you, don't you know that? You're the most important person in my life" 

"Oh." Blair simply said, and he got even closer to his friend, feeling the strong arms encircling him. They both closed their eyes with a satisfied sigh, and just before they fell asleep, Blair whispered: "One day, Jim, you'll have to tell me about the panther, and the visions. I would really like to know" 

"Sure, Chief, whatever you want." 

They spent the rest of the night in each other's arm, their souls finally at peace. 

LA FIN 


End file.
